My Blog & Teachings

Welcome to my blogging page!

Here you will find inspiration, new ideas, food for thought, some information on different therapies I practice and teach, some information on who I am, and some of my own personal challenges.

Please use the contents list down the right hand side of the page to narrow your search and thank you for reading, Jo  :)

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Be careful of mankind, they do not deserve you!

Posted by [email protected] on August 6, 2017 at 8:15 AM

This blog was inspired by some self reflection that I had been doing to explore some feelings of anger, resentment and frustration that I had noticed within myself, and a film that I happened to sit down and watch with my family which so clearly brought everything into perspective; Wonder Woman.  

In 2016 I helped to set up and organise a spiritual wellbeing centre in my local area after many people, friends and aquaintences begged me too without letting up. I had been asked several times over the years to set up my own welcoming, friendly centre but each time had appologised but explained that I had no desire to put my name to anything like that or take on the work load as I was already very busy, and just as happy, with my existing workload. 


That year a few things changed, first of all I had been banned from a centre I helped out at which was run primarily as a business funnel, because as a teacher myself, it was quoted as being "a conflict of interest" by its founder having me there to apparently take trade welcomed through its doors away from her. This came as a huge shock to me, as I do not help at such places to attract business, it is my belief that the two are completely seperate, doing something good to reap rewards yourself is business, not charity, but I was grateful to have seen the true colours of where my energy was being spent. 

Not long after this occurance, while still being pressured by a huge variety of people in the spiritual world, I had someone that I barely knew ask me if I was blocking my own path? It was at this time that I considered perhaps I was being guided into something that the universe wanted help with? 

A meeting was arranged at the home of one of those people, there must have been 15 people in that room that night, each were the people who had requested another local place to share and grow without judgement, ego or bitterness attended, after a lengthy discussion where my concerns about running such a centre were heard including not having my name on it, it would be OUR centre, run as a team, it was agreed that I would use my coaching skills and drive to put essentials in place, but the centre was in no way to be mine, in fact, once set up it would be run by all of  those people collectively. The goals of this centre were to provide a safe community for all spiritual people free from judgement or ridicule and provide a platform to support the public and share our passions promoting good health, development and growth. 

Even through the onslaught of bitterness shown by the centre we collectively wished to escape it was reminded again and again that there would be no retaliation, no bad words spoken of that subject, no bad energy put into this project, otherwise it would not work. Agreeing that we were all on the same page I set to work on my part of the plan, others sugested and agreed their team roles, and the centre opened its doors on February 21st 2016.

During the first year we learnt together many lessons, practical ones, personal ones, awareness ones. There were many people it turned out who were in it solely to teach someone else a lesson, and needless to say their motives worked their way to the surface, were found out, and they became disinterested in not having their views shared, eventually leaving. There were others who did not realise how much work it would take behind the scenes to run a centre and work as a team, I often found myself frustrated at the amount of work I had already put in upfront and the share that the rest of the team had agreed to move forwards with, which I could see being left to the same few people. Naturally I continued to help where I could.

At the end of 2016 I took a break from helping at the centre and returned in 2017 to see the huge workload still on just a couple of peoples shoulders, while others created uneccesary problems and critisised the work that these poor souls were tirelessly putting in daily. I helped support my friends where I could, but was also aware of not getting dragged into a rescuer position that would pull me under too, my frustration over the next few months turned to resentment. As a consultant I offered advice on changes that needed to be made, and saw them begin to create success, but I remained heart broken over the drained energy of just a few people while others boasted of their involvement, made digs at the people working so hard, and showed no appreciation for their agreed workload that others were carrying, everyone has difficult days, but staying stuck in that energy affecting others around you is a choice. There was no responsibility taken in this team project by those failing to contribute what they originally agreed too. I started to ask myself did they deserve my help, my contribution, my time or my energy?

After some time out for self care and exploration, while watching an inspirational film 'wonder woman' on the eve of the full moon, and right before lionsgate 2017 I had a breakthrough!


I could only speak for myself, but, I could see that it was not about humanity or anyone else deserving my energy, it was about my own beliefs regardless, and giving, helping, supporting, strengthening and enabling are who I am, what I do, the vibration that my soul dances too! I decided in that very moment to leave each of the people around me to their own choices and maintain my own path, my own integrity, my own karma, and my own self satisfaction! 

I still believed in the original cause, I had seen the difference it was making, giving the true spiritual community a place to congregate, a passion to follow, and the members of the public that we have helped in all of that time were definately worth it. The funds raised for local good causes had already doubled in the first quater of 2017 to what was raised in 2016. 

I had been reminded that spirituality and your path are about you, not other people, and I believe in myself and I believe in love so my decisions will be based on that!

My heart is my biggest weakness, but it is also my greatest strength, THIS is my fuel to speak my truth and carry on!

What is YOUR truth? What do YOU believe?

Have you caught Spiritual Flu?

Posted by [email protected] on June 27, 2017 at 2:40 PM

There is a virus going around our community that is quickly becoming an epidemic and it is up to us to spread the word and nip it in the bud!


You can spot the signs of someone infected with spiritual flu by spotting them refering to themself as spiritual while participating in generally unspiritual practices. They can often be found starting, participating in, gravitated too, or seeking out gossip, drama and general bullshit.

Their focus is on other people instead of themselves and then when this action attracts bitterness and chaos into their lives the blame is passed onto others as they seek yet more gossip buddies to create and feed off negative energy like vampires.


You can protect yourself from spiritual flu by avoiding people infected with it and staying away from communities in which it is heavily present.


You can tell when a person is immune to spiritual flu by their words matching their behaviour and actions, they will ignore and not participate or carry on gossip while staying clear of drama allowing the focus on their own life to propel them forwards. Their self focus creates their energetic fuel so that they do not deplete themselves or others.


Where REAL love stories are written.......

Posted by [email protected] on May 17, 2017 at 1:15 PM

I never usually blog about relationships, because I have and still am learning so much in this area myself, but today I was inspired to share a small piece of my journey and lessons so far.......

The single biggest killer of relationships these days is the need to have a false sense of appreciation and ego massage when it gets hard.


They see people all around them in apparently perfect relationships, the laughter, the selfies, the highlights that are shown to the public, they don't see the arguments, the turns taken to lean on each other, real life.


How many of your friends post on social media filtered pictures from the 20 they just took, or a status about how perfect their life is when you also know what they don't post?

So what makes you think the shiny surface of any relationship is as real as it gets too?


This generation finds 'love' easily, but is too stupid to keep it, because they bail on good relationships in search of the perfect false relationship every time a distraction walks past.


Perhaps its time to return to the lessons of our grandparents who looked for appreciation, respect, loyalty, communication and teamwork over the quick fix of distraction, which most often results in the mess of regrets and consequences once reality returns.

Real love is a process of co-creation. It is a sharing of simple moments between two like-minded yet individual people.

Real love is honest, sometimes brutally so, it is vunerable and fragile, just as it makes you. It has wrinkles and it's colours do not always match, yet sometimes they paint the most amazing moment.

It does not always make sense but is always written from the heart.

Real love is a journey and that story is hidden in the creases between two silently bonded hands.

Leading by example is the only way to stop our children becomming the next generation of quitters, always chasing a quick fix in love and in life; So I am starting with my own.

A letter to my super fan ego stalkers:

Posted by [email protected] on October 6, 2016 at 1:50 PM

A letter to the super fans watching my Facebook account every day, fantacising over my life and sending me hate mail - full of ego, bile and their aweful energy.

It seems that for however long you have been trolling my Facebook accounts, you have failed to take on bourd my teachings of raising YOUR OWN awareness.

I do not envy the mess in your own life that must need clearing up now after more than half a year of focussing on mine.

I am leaving responcibility for this entirely to yourselves, after all, YOU are the leaders of your own paths, but I feel that in accepting that not everyone follows others seeking a spiritual connection (be it through guidance, knowledge, love, or friendship), I would like to clarify this lesson to others who are authentic in themselves, their beliefs and their lives, and wish you well on your journeys.

I would like to personally thank my haters as they have become super fans, the people who stalk my pages, soak up my words in order to use them later on,
think that they have more knowledge of my path, thoughts, actions, and that of my partner and friends too than I do, watch my every move,
and send me fan mail on a regular basis over the course of the last year.
Your chosen topic may have been my relationship rather than your own shortcomings, but none the less I thank you for the time you have given to me out of your own lives.

I encourage you however to put that same amount of effort into your own, all be it perhaps more accurately, you see, many of the points that you raised I know first hand, as solid as concrete, seen and heard with my own eyes, are incorrect, which left me doubting the sincerity of any of your words especially given your clear intentions.

I do understand how hard it can be to take a long hard look at yourself, and how much easier it is to maliciously set out to hurt other people, but i sugest that perhaps this is what is causing the unrest in your own lives? Try a leaf out of my book perhaps, learn to be comfortable and in time happy in each moment of your life, this is achieved by focussing on your own, yourself, and putting as much energy into throwing out and attracting good as you have shit - you will smell nicer for it!

Spirituality is about THE SELF, to walk an authentically spiritual path you must focus on YOUR OWN, if you are seeking growth, connection or happiness then WITHIN YOU is where you will find it, dressing it up as something it is not to interfere with others is a block, good luck with letting go of that resentment and looking at who you have become. 

I hope that you find happiness by becoming authentic, I hope that you stop missing your own lessons by focussing on others, and I hope that your ego is able to sit aside long enough for you to realise that the only person who needs your opinion and judgement to grow, improve and succeed IS YOU!

I hope that you turn your karma around and do not attract too much fear or pain while learning the lessons waiting for you, I wish you a growth game as smooth as is possible, not as hard as you deserve.

If you worst case scenario still refuse to learn your own lessons and take control of your own lives, then I will continue to reflect your energy and return it home along with some healing regardless, because I attract what I give out, and I return what is sent to me ten fold as a mirror of your true selves, that is my path and walking MY OWN makes me authentic.

I do understand, whatever is driving you, I would not like to be where you are right now either, this is what fuels my well wishes, because as an empath I cannot wish hard or pain, fear or worry, karma now pays my debts, I trust this to those with a higher knowing than us.

Remember always, there is a BIG difference between saying that you are spiritual, and walking your own path with authenticity and integrity.
Good luck with your choices whichever you are.

Schooling our children, encouraging the ego:

Posted by [email protected] on September 9, 2016 at 5:20 AM

All it takes is a simple question on the TV to get me thinking, contemplating and reflecting. As I did today my higher self kicked in and I had a simple question given to me, what makes anyone better?

As those who regularly read my blogs will know by now, I am only ever interested in using that term in the contect of someone feeling better, or being better than they were the day before, always in the inwards context, not the judgemental view of others.

The question what makes anyone better is actually answered quite simply from a healthy awareness point of view, their ego. 

The subject being discussed on the TV was the need for grammar schools, the perspective that sparked my interest was that it is yet another way that society is dividing the masses.

Faith schools, ability schools, exams based on biased lerning styles, from such an early age we are conditioning our children that division and hierchy are a normal part of our world and required of them from here on out.

Do not get me wrong, my daughter attends a faith school, but because of its offerings non faith related, after all she is a christian coming from a non religious family. 

I also have teenage children of both academic and creative ability, totally different from each other, with varied learning styles, but both equaly as bright as each other and bringing valuable skills to our world.

I have also been the frustrated parent of a child doing well in class that is disrupted constantly by a pupil with less accademic ability, concerned that it is affecting her learning, grades and future opportunities.

The point I make is that instead of integrating into our children that some are more clever than others, more committed to their beliefs than others, better than others, then wondering why generation after genertion our world is becoming more judgemental, more divided, more biased and closed minded, perhaps we should look at the earliest lessons that we are teaching our children?

I would prefer to see the alternative of more focus being put into helping, supporting adapting to equally support all children, even the ones struggling academically in such a biased schooling system.

I would prefer children of all faiths to be taught together, and about each others beliefs, in the true context, raising awareness of how in any religion extremism is not the normal practice, creating open minds, nurturing compassion and respect for others and their chosen paths regardless of the difference to our own.

Instead of conditioning our children to believe that if you get into grammar school you are better than other class mates, if you attend a private school funded by your parents then you are better than your public school attending neighbours.

This soon becomes the life lesson that if as an adult you work you are better than those who need help through illness or facing redundancy and recieve benefits during that period.

Or that as a manager of a company you are better than the person stacking the shelves in that shop, delivering the stock that is sold there or works on the checkout, smiling at the customer encouraging them to return to the store.

Individual religious beliefs and talents are important, but they are also personal, they can be taught at home, by families, with the first hand knowledge of the topic and individual way in which they would like it to be learnt.

Instead of teaching our children that their own set of beliefs, religion, occupation, education level, skin colour or rights are better than anyone elses, I would like for every generation living in our country to be taught in an inclusive community manner, creating a solid foundation of key skills that would in turn create a better world to live in for everyone. 

It is not hard to teach moral values in our schools, these children do not need an additional class to help them interact with each other and the world around them better, they need a better system, created by better role models. We can start with ourselves.


Letter to a girl I once knew......

Posted by [email protected] on August 12, 2016 at 1:20 PM

I saw you, when you thought nobody did. I saw the mess behind the smile, the cage that you were lost in, and the pain in feeling nothing.

I knew the little girl who grew up protecting others, dying inside because she took the blame in silence, never complaining, never insisting on a space in this world, accepting a distorted view of herself while others kept their masks, ever the peacekeeper, by absorbing the war.

I was there when you escaped from hell, when you ran as fast as you could, always watching over your shoulder so the army didn't catch you, right into the lair of a different monster. I cringed as you replaced one false smile for another, finally free from your cage grateful for a prison instead complete with warden. I remember those egg shells, your tummy turning and throat closing, heart pounding and mind racing during the fear, pain, guilt, all of it, but most of all I remember how little you knew yourself. 

I also saw the strength it took to say no for the very first time, the day you saw the manipulation starting and with two tiny faces peering out from behind you the day you said no more, I want to be me. 

I watched that very first step, unsteady, without true direction, into the unknown driven only by those two little faces that needed you to put yourself first, to be strong for them, to be you for them.

I know how hard it was to explore who you were, what you liked, learn to think for yourself, let your eyes get used to the light, to focus on a goal, then another, then dare to dream. I was there as you found a passion for creativity, colour, genertics, patterns, the way the mind works, and loved exploring it with you.

I remember the nievety, the innocence, how vunerable you felt learning long after most others did that people aren't all they seem, but the determination that gave you to learn why, how, and understand.

I am proud to say that I knew you then, and I am proud to say that I know you now. To have gone through all that you have emerging after those lessons with a soft heart remaining with every reason to have become cold and harsh towards a world that can be very ugly shows real strength.

I am happy to see you attracting amazing people into your life, making brilliant memories, showing those bigger faces that are now stood beside you how to maintain clear boundaries and do so in a fair and healthy way. 

I have watched you learn who you are, better still, like who you are, and help so many others to do the same. You give so much but have learnt to do that from the abundance of energy you create. There is more than one way to define working hard and you do, daily, on yourself, and it shows attracting like minded people into your life and making those who think differently uncomfortable enough to leave.

You have gone from a girl who owned the victim status, who didn't know who she was, who had no future, to a survivor, a woman who is beautiful inside and out, a true spiritual warrior who will never allow herself to be put back where she was, because now she is responcibe for her own life, now she is stronger, now she can fly!

I am proud of you, I love you dearly, and I know you will never change...........because you are me xXx 

Battles you cannot win; when to walk away!

Posted by [email protected] on July 30, 2016 at 11:40 AM

I learnt some time ago to pick my battles, in my younger days I would stand up to anyone in every situation, my Scorpio sting was always on the defensive, these days I am told regularly that I have grown into my more laid back, Libran, happier self, this being also exactly how i perceive myself reinforces my authenticity both on the outside and in :)


Perhaps it is time I shared with you why this is, a lesson I learnt in growing up, all battles drain our energy, and some we simply cannot win, their is wisdom in knowing which is which and victory in walking away where needed.

I have had many variations of this lesson myself, perhaps you can relate to some?


There was a lesson where I had told my teenager to tidy her room, and while stomping upstairs she was muttering under her breath, this i rolled my eyes at happy that her room was getting tidied up as I had asked whichever embellishments she was adding to that with her attitude, when her step dad decided to call her downstairs, punishing her for her mumbling back chat by sending her to bed - in taking part in every tiny battle my end goal had disappeared her room was still a mess and battle one was restarted the following day.


There was another where I was in a disagreement with my partner and was so hurt, so defensive, so angry and upset that the tone of my voice was raised, the words I used were frustrated insults, because the emotions were so intense and the need to be right and cling onto my victim perspective was so strong I had become irrational in my rationalising.

When I learnt to recognise this unhelpful pattern in myself and in taking some time to calm down when I am aware of my emotions becoming stronger before responding (not reacting), I was met with someone ready to listen to get rid of the issue and stop it coming up again channelled through another nagging episode, instead of someone ready to defend themselves and win a war. The art of listening to hear and not to reply meant that we both felt heard and the immediate impact of emotion was removed leaving room for dealing with the issue without fanning the flames. When I am angry or upset, I work through that myself first, these battles are pointless if you leave that on someone else doorstep.


I am often asked how I can be so laid back, why I give benefit of the doubt and what makes me suddenly withdraw that when I have had enough. I have spoken before about my ADHD and this manifests itself in people who have it in a similar way, we all have lack of focus when we want it, and hyper focus in another area, this area varies from person to person, from math, to science, and crafting to music - mine is psychology and behaviour patterns.

This super power coupled with my ability to sense a persons energy, help me to know that you do not have to turn up to every argument that you are invited too, and also when to roll my eyes and walk away. 

 Now I will share what I have learnt with you, battles you simply cannot win........



1 - Battles with haters: There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance, haters are often overly arrogant, portraying confidence in all the wrong ways, in all the wrong places. Firstly we can accept that we are not for everyone, but neither do we need to be.

Pleasing everyone is exhausting, time consuming, and unattainable, haters thrive on ciritsising others, because their fed on a lifetime of accumulated lies, jealousy, resentment, hate and ego, this deep dark well leaves little room for light, something which they do not understand and is therefore a threat to their all knowing facade.

Battling with haters will only make them stronger and happier, because their motive is not to understand, but to win, they desire the attention.

The best response for haters is to shun them with a reaction of indifference, this is not the sort of person who’s opinion is valuable to you in any case so use your time and energy elsewhere, it is as simple as that.


2 - Battles with Narcissists: It is worth noting that the term narc is often banded about as easily as love and light, but this form of arrogant insult throwing is most often used by the narcs themselves. We all have narcissistic tendencies, awareness is what keeps the over inflated ego in check, for those without awareness there are professionals who can confirm narcissistic personality disorder.

Arguing with a narcissist is like arguing with haters, it only serves to feed their ego.

They feed on our need to seek validation from them, when their opinion is important enough to be contested they achieve satisfaction. Narcissists are different to haters in that they have a shiny exterior, the mask they wear is more extreme. Their public self is a direct contrast to their real self and if watched closely enough and for long enough this difference can be seen.

Fighting with a narc is pointless because they will never attempt to hear us out, or understand us. It is not about us, there is only one person in that confrontation. Our attention is what keeps their light burning, our attention on them, when it is no longer about them their attention is lost, their light goes out, and this is the part of the disagreement that is your fault - how dare you put out those flames. Narcissists are clever manipulators, their not crazy, we are the crazy ones, for thinking anything we say can be heard or make a difference!


3. Battles with closed minded people (CMP): CMP’s are narrow minded people with little potential or interest in further enlightenment. Battles with CMP’s are a one way journey into a dead end that uses up all of our energy and leaves us confused and lost. Most of us have been taught to be the bigger person, CMP’s are very rarely these, they are not limited in their ways of thinking, they are fixed in them, which makes them impenetrable by new ideas or perspectives. Worse still, they are amongst the most opinionated and defensive people you can encounter, the war continues with chest beating about their being right long after you have walked away. You simply cannot win whatever your battle plan, save your energy, maintain your sanity, and walk away.

4. Battles with do nothing people (DNP): Time and energy have value, just like money. I have always been dumbfounded by people who I can most accurately group together as do nothing people. We all know them, the sort of people with too much time on their hands for whatever reason that is, people with no goals, no drive, no focus on their own paths, but still find time to analyse everyone else’s, a mouth they most definitely do have. It would be perfect if they said nothing too, but this is rarely the case, with so much time on their hands avoiding their own lives, they have lots to say about everyone and everything else. DNP’s have all the time in the world to war with you, to google information to throw at you, to throw their pent up energy in your direction. They will play with your ideas, your goals and dreams, direct them, and then from their limited perspective throw them back at you, picking fault, making fun, adding insults and often toying with these ideas as their own too for a limited time.

They have an endless supply of something many of us working on our own lives do not have enough of, time. With so much time on their hands to fill in an effort to avoid themselves google becomes their best friend, they align with other DNP’s and distract themselves from the boredom of their own mundane lives with everyone else’s.

The only course of action in these situations is to cut our ties with such energy leeches and walk away, self efficiency in healthy human beings tells us to cut our losses and resign our own valuable time.

A lesson in perspectives: The red, the yellow and the orange :)

Posted by [email protected] on July 6, 2016 at 3:50 AM

Todays blog is a strange one, it's situation from which I had this lesson reinforced is something that I have looked at blogging about before but my strong moral compass has always decided that it doesn't fit in with who I am as a person, so it never was shared. 

To help you understand this a little better I can tell you that I personally do not believe in using a blog, or its sharing of a personal journey and the lessons it taught, as a mud slinging opportunity. That has never seemed the way of a mindful or spiritual path to me. This is why a lesson that I have learnt that cannot be untangled cleanly from individuals involved to be shared as a situation or combination of experiences is rarely shared on my blog, especially when it is not an unbiased, objective account ;).

A few months back I was given the message that now was the time to share this particular situation and lesson with you all, and that it was a valuable and crystal clear example of just how different the black and white opinions from two people both experiencing the exact same situation can be, it was a great opportunity to share the black, white, and grey of the situation offering others food for thought regarding their own situations.

I confess I had at this point agreed in principle to do it, but it was allocated somewhere halfway down my 'to-do' list :lol:.  Since then I have gotten readings from mediums telling me to speak my truth more often and to stop putting things I know i need to do off, that combined with the recent new moon energy brings me here, today, to this blog, a long time coming, and outside of my comfort zone, but a tool for growth and perhaps something I will do more often for I have plenty more to share that I already have :P.

Ok here goes.............

Many moons ago I found myself dragged into a situation, I use the word dragged, as I was not present for much of what went on, but I was still allocated one of the points on a triangle by someone else, (here you can see where my feelings re drama come from).

In this blog my own perspective will be used and that of another, the information this is based on is first hand directly from the mouth of one of the other two corners to myself so as factual as it can be............maintaining my belief that a blog containing a lesson should be an unbiased one not made up from assumptions and embellished stories in the writers head that fit their own place within it.

These two perspectives make up the red and the yellow of a situation, the moral of the story being that the absolute truth without an individuals personal interpretation is in the orange, somewhere in the middle :).


The two other corners of this triangle dragged me into a situation that came to a head at the point in which they were both caught out gossiping about me in a room where I was not present and both have admitted to taking part.

As I said, I wasn't even there ;).

A little bit of background on this experience so that it makes sense to you...........

The situation that I got dragged into involved two other people neither of which I have anything to do with now.

The first was a lady that I did not know well, and still do not know well, I had an idea of what her energy was about from many others, but as per my way, made up my own mind about the level of interaction that I wanted with her based on my own personal experiences with her and things that were seen with my own eyes.

This developed into a personal opinion that we did not have very much in common and while I was happy to help out at a centre she ran and promote that as a place like any other where a selection of energies mixed but you could choose which to interact with for yourself, I saw a lot of behaviour and underhanded tactics that I did not agree with and for this reason kept my opinion to myself (it was just that - mine) and distanced myself from her energy.

When I say I kept my opinion to myself I should be clear that when I disagreed with posts on her Facebook wall, interactions in groups, or public attacks on others, I respected that her opinion was allowed and valid and that getting involved was not my place so did not comment at all, even when I was already experiencing rather agressive attacks on my own personal profile from her. 

As I have explained in previous blogs, I believe there is a vast difference in the amount of personal integrity shown by having a personal opinion about something or someone and the decision to own that as your own, or, use that to fuel nastiness, hate, personal attacks, slander or gossip about another person from a level of ego that makes only your own biased perception of that situation right.

I was dragged into this situation by this person because of their personal feelings towards me which from their own words to me afterwards came from seeing me as a "conflict of interests" with their business which ended up the reason that I was banned from the centre they run as 'spiritual'.

I am not going to get into the behaviours of the first person at this time any further, the above has simply been used to explain the context of this blog.

The other person involved in this triangle was at one time, and for many years, my best friend. This person I did know well, have not spoken to since this situation came to a head over a year ago (although she emailed me with her perspectives on it), and I wish her well with her path.

We would talk regularly on the phone, she supported me through relationship issues, I supported her through depression, we shared our children, had combined hobbies, explored our individual paths, opinions and lessons of growth together, we laughed lots, usually over nothing! I would visit often with goodies or to colour her hair and cheer her up, and it was what I class as a regular friendship, until the point in which we both ended up with a similar goal and while I achieved mine, my friend hadn't, this situation happened just days later. 


This is the corner of the triangle that I shall be using as an example in this blog, I feel that it would be simpler by using just one other perspective other than my own and knowing this person well with plenty of direct communication both before and immediately after this situation I have a greater pool of direct, factual examples to draw from.

So now you have an outline of the situation as a point of reference I can share with you some of the perspectives shared in communications as a result of it and my own very different perspective on them, showing you just how different the perspectives of two people experiencing the same event can be. This hopefully will allow you to stop and think next time that you are in a similar situation about just how it looks or feels to someone else.

It is not about right or wrong when looking at these situations, it is about awareness, from there you can grasp the deepest understanding of the lessons that pave your path to becoming the most authentic and complete version of you....................

Perspective 1:

"I got stuck in the middle of 2 people bad mouthing each other"

Perspective 2:

"The very first time that person was discussed was brought up by you not me exploring an opinion on distance healing and attunements"

Perspective 1:

"I didn't come to visit you in the last year as I didn't like your boyfriend"

Perspective 2:

"I was single for half of that including times that you were local"

Perspective 1:

"I got unwittingly dragged into gossiping over and over by both other people"

Perspective 2:

"I wasn't even in the room when this came to a head with you both with some very nasty things said by both parties not just one"

Perspective 1:

"I was cornered in a room and asked some very intrusive questions about my friend, I am ashamed I got sucked in"

Perspective 2:

"Plenty of additional information was freely offered by you"

Perspective 1:

"Our friendship was very one sided"

Perspective 2:

"Lets conveniently forget the late night visits, food shopping deliveries, crystal gifts, hair dye, and other things"

Perspective 1:

"I was always on the phone when needed"

Perspective 2:

"I would regularly drive nearly an hour well past my bedtime because I was needed"

Perspective 1:

"Your not perfect but I still supported you regardless"

Perspective 2:

"Your not perfect but I still supported you regardless without using it as a reason to stop because of hidden agenda"

Perspective 1:

"I was stuck between 2 unspiritual people making me do things that are not me and all them"

Perspective 2:

"You were the common link each time that happened and that is no excuse at all when your caught offering what you concider to be damaging information freely"

Perspective 1:

"I have depression so maintaining a friendship was too much"

Perspective 2:

"I have PTSD but can maintain a friendship while dodging their bullets - is this a competition?" 

Perspective 1:

"I am ashamed I was acting out of character and shall distance myself from these people - lesson learnt"

Perspective 2:

"The lesson will repeat itself because it hasn't been learnt"


Perspective 1:


"You don't take responcibility for your actions, I have mine"


Perspective 2:


"You don't take responcibility for your actions, I have mine"

I have left many points off as only a few were needed to give you an idea, and some of my own I deliberately left parts off so as not to get anyone into trouble, these were from the top of my head, but as you can see they paint two very different pictures of the same story.

If you take only the red perspective you get one account of events, if you take only the yellow you get an entirely different one, it is easy when getting just one colour to form an opinion on the other and vice versa. The truth without biased is actually neither accounts, it appears more orange, a mixture somewhere between the two. 

You can now use this example to raise your own awareness when interacting with others, wether the situation is big or something mindless you do daily, be aware there is ALWAYS more than one account of what happened, you don't need to agree with others, but you cannot take away their right to a perspective any more than they can yours.

Very rarely myself have I been in a situation where two perspectives are SO different over a prolonged period of time which is why this example was the perfect one to use, but if we look we all have.

Take the leson from this situation and apply it to yourself, get ahead of the growth game, it is not only your own lessons that can be used as stepping stones for personal spiritual growth, awareness is the key to a healthier, happier life and can facilitate your own spiritual journey too :D

Why I don't use Nameste........and other spiritual confessions!

Posted by [email protected] on June 10, 2016 at 12:45 AM has been a while and I had been told that my blogs were missed so the moment having a spare hour and some inspiration coincided I decided to fix that :P

Todays topic of reflection and contemplation is spirituality, not the dressed up, wearing your sunday best, airs and graces type of spirituality that I affectionately refer to as ultra spiritual, but the authentic, real life, like the blood running through your veins, way of life. Hopefully this blog will give you food for thought and help you to establish what spirituality means to you.

Lets start with the recognised defenition of the term spirituality: "In modern times the emphasis is on subjective experience incorporating personal growth or transformation." - Source Wikipedia.

From there we can look at what subjective experience and personal growth or development are: 


"The subjective character of experience is a term in psychology and the philosophy of mind denoting that all subjective phenomena are associated with a single point of view." - (Wikipedia)

"Personal development is also known as self-development or personal growth. It involves the growth and enhancement of all aspects of the person, the feelings the person has about himself or herself, and their effectiveness in living. It includes the development of positive life skills and the development of a realistic and healthy self-esteem.

There is no one way or one program to help a person grow emotionally and personally. It may involve periodic counseling and coaching or it may involve a much longer and more intense type of therapy. The approach to help must be individually assessed and applied on a personal basis. It may include a variety of interventions, ideas skills, and behavioral techniques. In personal and emotional growth, the "fit" between the therapist, counselor, or coach and yourself is critical. This "fit" is best assessed not by reviewing the professional's credentials, but by your ability to relate to them.


Reaching out for information and assistance can help you live a healthier and more fulfilling life." - (

To summarise, spirituality is the world viewed and experienced from a single persons perspective while navigating the human experience and working towards personal growth and improvement.

That is the science bit :P

Now I can share with you a little bit of my own perspective.............

The world is full of people claiming that they are spiritual because they like the idea of playing a role, because they think it makes them look like a better person, or because the crowd around them are. When people 'play at' being spiritual by reading the book on ultra spirituality and entering the spiritual olympics they damage the respect and credibility of others who walk the path authentically focussed solely on themselves.

I don't use the term Nameste, it is my experience that those who live by its true meaning, that their ego free spirit lives in respect for anothers, do not feel the need to shout about it for all to hear like some sort of theater spectacle. 

Namaste allows two individuals to come together energetically to a place of connection and timelessness, free from the bonds of ego-connection. If it is done with deep feeling in the heart and with the mind surrendered, a deep union of spirits can blossom. In India where it originated it is most often not even spoken, the gesture of hands together at third eye chakra with bowed head which are then moved down to the heart chakra is enough - it is actions not empty words that reflect its energetic, ego free meaning. 

I also do not use the term peace, love and light for the exact same reasons, it is often used by those who believe being spiritual is a competition between who can meditate for the longest, who burn the most sage, who gets into the most flexible yoga pose and can ignore all feelings of jealousy, anger or resentment all while maintaining their cheery smile at all times. To live in love and light means to never judge another with anger in your heart, it is not about being perfect or ultra spiritual, but about peace, focussing on your own path and lessons and not on anothers, this is all too often forgotten amongst the so called spiritual community when gossip and judgement make up the daily entertainment creating a society of hypocrites.

A huge part of spirituality for me is awareness of ALL of your parts, exploring continually new pieces of your unique puzzle, accepting the beautiful picture they paint when combined, editing the parts still rough around the edges or looking out of keeping with the energetic presence within. To me the personal development journey of growth IS the path and reason for the lessons our human experience brings. It is about being who you really are, not accepting what you have as an excuse for unspiritual behaviour, but in doing your best and making progress in small steps towards higher self esteem and overall contentment. 

It is because of this that I am aware of the fact I talk too much, give to many chances to people who probably don't deserve them, swear like a trooper, cannot focus for more than a short period of time and say whats on my mind without first censoring it. Spirituality is about being perfectly flawed, learning to like my stubourness, love my huge heart and work on my ability to ask for help. Being myself happily as a whole while I improve on the old version routinely updating my software.

I don't meditate everyday, I eat what I feel like eating at the time, I never remember friends birthdays, often even forgetting their name caught on the tip of my tongue, I am not interested in other peoples chaos but I always help where I can, and some days I am so grumpy that I do not mix with people at all. I am spiritual, I walk a spiritual path, because I am real.

The next time you catch yourself doing some of the above things take a moment to ask yourself is that coming from a place of being spiritual, or wanting to look spiritual, do you feel spiritual anyway, or are you doing it to act spiritual because you should? 

Thank you once again for listening to my ramblings, it is my purpose to pass on my lessons so far, I hope you have had food for thought to explore your own perspectives on this subject and look forwards to learning and sharing the new ones :D

Love, light and bollox ;)


Wisdom is knowing who you are :)

Posted by [email protected] on March 11, 2016 at 2:05 PM

I am quite solitary by nature but do love to share about energy and magic.

These become more powerful when people or objects combine and that is proof enough for me that they are meant to be shared. I am often asked if I am a witch, if I am a lightworker, if I am a healer, pagan or hippy.

What do these labels really mean anyway? To be a witch is to be a wise woman, or quite simply, someone who lives, breathes, loves and communicates with nature and understands the power of energy, the invisible power that draws the sun around the earth and enabled the moon to draw the tides. To be a lightworker involves making the choice to continually raise your own vibration and to share that higher vibration with others.


The answer is simple as are the things I see as important to my path.

I do not work in the light, I do not work in the dark, I work in and with my own energy. My days are much the same as anyone else’s, tailored to my own needs and personality, the magic I wish to work with at any given time and what I believe is the best kind of ‘anything worker’ that a person can be is working as one with universal energy to attract or shape events in our lives.

When I work with the energy of magic I am not commanding the universe, it does not enhance energy by coming from a place of greed or ego, it is the respect and use of a natural force, goddesses, nature, crystals, life lessons, ancestors, intention and focus to create an outcome satisfactory to who I am and matching the vibration of my higher self. There are 8 basic beliefs that form the foundation of my life.


1. Meditation/Silence

All wisdom can be accessed through meditation. By practicing the art of an empty mind I find internal peace and detach from internal conflict. I return to myself.

I crave silence. A great part of my day is spent this way. While I love music, and to speak with others, without silence I would not be able to access my truth.

A daily meditation practice allows me to tap into my creativity. It’s food for my spirit. It’s a connection to my guides who often use my meditation time to speak to me.

Only in silence when my human self steps aside can I meet my true higher self.

Silence and meditation leave me open to magic. Without it, I would be attempting to make magic by using my mind and things I have learned from books. With silence, I create magic from a subconscious place of remembering, with the guidance of my ancestors and all that is.


2. Grounding

It’s very important to ground daily. This keeps me from feeling too spacey, unfocussed and disconnected, as sometimes working so closely with your higher self can do.

I ground by first greeting the outside world, speaking to nature, walking barefoot in the grass feeling the earth between my toes, as I wander outside to take a breath of fresh air I am home. My morning coffee under shelter in the garden is my favourite time of the day, it’s my time to plan the day ahead as well.

If the weather allows, I sit with my wise old cherry tree and take three deep breaths while imaging growing roots and connecting to the Under World. Before moving on to morning chores, I thank the tree I have connected with and ask it to impart any messages it may have for me, for the elementals and creatures visiting my garden to share their own wisdom too.


3. Smudging

Smudging is a practice that I have borrowed from ancestors, using sage, mint and lemon grass that I gather and dry myself from my holistic garden. It is a way of clearing energies in my home and also my own personal energy field, invoking spirits who guide me on my magical path and asking for a cleansing of my aura, detaching draining chords and invoking protection.

I smudge over my heart centre, my eyes, my mouth, my throat, my crown chakra, all the other chakras and under my feet.

In this way I hope to keep to my true path for the day, and to keep my words true, my eyes honest and my energy balanced.

I love the smell of the smouldering herbs, and always thank the deva of the individual medicinal plants for gracing me with her wisdom and healing.


4. Nature as my Teacher

Each day is a new connection to Mother Earth. I take time to appreciate the sun’s rays through the trees or beating down on my face. I delight in the birds singing their morning song. I play with my collection of crystals, holding them, seeking their wisdom, rearranging them, I use herbs in everything that I cook and my crystal grids too.

I mix teas from the herbs I have collected and dried in the garden. Nature keeps me in touch with what is real in a complicated world. By using herbs for health, I tap into answers hidden within their secrets available to anyone who looks.


5. Consulting With My Oracles

Every woman has her favourite oracle. I use crystals, guides and cards to communicate with. Some use tarot cards, runes or a gazing ball, some tea leaves, some the flames of a fire, some throw sticks, or the I Ching.

If used faithfully, one develops a special bond with their oracle, and can count on it for true guidance.

I like to keep a selection of my crystals on my bedside table to consult with while I astral travel during sleep. The unconscious mind is very open to magical connections, much more so than the conscious. If I wish to know more about a certain subject, I will place it written on a piece of paper under my pillow or ask for guidance before i go to sleep. My crystals often lay scattered beside me while I write my blogs or manuals, offering inspiration.

If you would like to use an oracle as part of your daily life, take your time choosing the specific one. It’s a truly lovely process discovering who or what your oracle is.



6. Connecting with my Magical Tools

My sanctuary is decorated with all the tools of my trade. I like to honour my sacred space by cleaning it now and then, touching my tools, lighting candles, smudging the area, adding or removing crystals as my needs change or specific focusses arrive. The tools you will use as a wise woman are your own and not to be touched by others unless you give special permission.

I do not share my space with anyone who would belittle its beauty or relativity to my work. It is a scared space. Sometimes I go there to study, sometimes it is my meditation place. It is a place for me to lay my heart open and work the best of me, and the best of my magic. Once you have created such a scared space, you will wonder how you ever made do without. You understand how lucky you are. It is home.


7. Journaling: My writings and blogs

I have many folders filled with collected notes, tips, experiences and case studies, ideas and dream vision boards, all with a specific purpose.

But the most important writings that I keep are my blogs.

In there I record dreams, inspirations, holistic treatments and results, wishes, intentions, ingredients, beliefs, lessons and all necessary information to my magical work. As time goes on, magic grows within the pages. It is a mystery how this happens, but there is a strength that gathers from what has been written, and I can read back over the contents to find wisdom that has escaped me before. I like to include quotes from writings of other wise women in there as well, and so invite their knowledge into my work.

My blog is the blueprint of my coaching practice, it is in the most part translated from my higher self so is a very sacred space. Creating such a journal is very satisfying and I promise that if you were to begin one, you would discover yourself between the pages.


8. Growth

I intentionally invite, process, learn from and apply life lessons while living this human life. The experience itself I believe is the reason we are here, to master working through the waves of emotion that life brings using awareness, to not only experience the storm, but feel the wind, taste the rain, see the lightning and understand that it is all temporary, it is there to wake you up, to build your strength, to guide you to being the very best version of you possible. The challenges we don’t run away from, provide a glimpse at the amazing power that lies within us, the emotions we experience, know, acknowledge and respond to instead of reacting to them build character and power within our hearts that can be used to pass onto others when they need a reminder of their own light. The path is to encourage your own growth while allowing others to do the same. The universal energy does not do the work for you ;)


On their own, these practices are seemingly simple and, as you can see, anyone can do them. Together, they gather into a ritual that opens pathways to knowledge normally hidden from the conscious mind. Knowing yourself on this deeper level is what facilitates growth and spiritual connection at a higher vibration. Magic is simply an intention come to fruition. Wisdom is gathered like a harvest by piece by piece remembering who you are. We are all wise women, it’s in our souls.


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